Tonight’s one of those nights, we all have them… Those nights where you start over thinking every little aspect of your life.

You’re thinking ‘how did i let myself get this big’ … ‘when will i ever be happy in life’ etc. I hate when i get like this because all i can think about is ”the only way to be happy is to be skinny” … which isn’t true. I just find it so hard to enjoy life being this big WHICH IS NOT RIGHT. I should be enjoying life, not going out and worrying about what others are thinking of me. I get so paranoid and feel like everyones staring at me when i’m out trying to have a good night. 

And then i look at all my friends, they are all skinny and most have boyfriends… will i ever have what they have? No guys seem to ever really take an interest in me. I joke about being ‘forever alone’ but am i really joking? At the end of the day i would love to meet a guy who’s really into my personality .. but no matter how much you preach ‘i only care about personality’ .. that’s not true.. not true at all … you HAVE to be somewhat attracted to the person to be with them. Who will be attracted to me? rolls… cellulite… double chin.

Moral of this random rant … will i ever be truly happy?

  1. holaitssteph posted this